Befriending Your Inner Critic: A Heart-Centered Approach to Growth, Healing and Money

“Your critical voice loses its power when you choose to meet it with love, compassion and cariño.” - Erika Dox-Martinez

Why Are You So Critical of Yourself? 💭

If you’re anything like the women I support, you care deeply. You're committed to your healing.

You’re showing up more on your journey to becoming...

But when it comes to your progress?

The compassion you extend to others is often replaced by criticism, pressure and perfectionism.

The Moment That Shifted Everything 🌿

Recently, I started going back to therapy.

Between the heaviness of the world, the emotional load so many of us carry, and the pressure to “stay on track” in life and business—I knew I needed deeper support.

In a recent session, I shared how disappointed I felt for not sticking to my morning routine. I told my therapist:

“I want to move my body every day. I know it helps me feel better… but I just haven’t been doing it. And I keep hearing the little voice in my head saying:

‘What’s wrong with you? Why can't you get your sh*t together already?'

My therapist paused, looked at me, and said something that shifted my energy immediately:

“I heard you say that you worked out twice this week... so why not look at what you have done instead of what you haven’t done?”

And just like that, something softened inside me.

Because the truth is — I had moved my body. I had shown up for myself. But I was so focused on what I didn’t do, I missed what I actually did.

And she’s not the first one to tell me this… but maybe this time it’ll stick. And maybe it’ll stick for you too.

Now I'm Reminding You to Do the Same with Your Money! 💸

In my work with my clients, I hear these patterns all the time when it comes to money.

❌ “I haven’t saved enough.”

❌ “I haven’t paid off my debt yet.”

❌ “I haven’t invested.”

❌ “I’m so behind.”

But how often do we pause to celebrate what we have done financially?

🎉 Paid your minimums on time this month? That’s nurturing your credit.

🎉 Opened a high-yield savings account with just $50? That’s planting seeds (and getting some free money, honey!).

🎉 Had a mindful conversation about spending with your partner? That’s strengthening your financial relationship.

🎉 Checked your account instead of avoiding it? That’s a powerful step toward financial awareness and healing.

Those actions count. They matter.

They are proof that you’re already showing up for yourself.

Your inner critic may be loud, but your progress is real.

Focusing on any and all steps helps you build the confidence and self-compassion needed to keep showing up for you and your dinero!

And when your inner critic goes unchecked, it leads to shame. And shame? It isn’t motivating — it’s debilitating, isolating, and it blocks growth and care.

Why Befriending Your Inner Critic Matters and Three Steps to Get Started

This is the work: not to silence your inner critic, but to befriend her.

Not to fight her. Not to shame her. But to meet her with curiosity and compassion — to guide her with love and cariño.

Three Ways to Gently Befriend Your Inner Critic (and Care for Your Finances with Love)

These are the small, grounded practices I’m leaning into — and I invite you to try them too, especially as you nurture your financial wellness with more softness and intention.

1. Get Curious with Your Inner Critic, Not Combative

Your inner critic isn’t "bad." She’s just trying to protect you with old tools, old stories, and outdated fears.

Instead of shutting her down, try softening:

✔️ Ask: "Whose voice is this? Is it mine? Does it serve me? Is it helping me grow?"

✔️ Gently say: “Thank you for trying to keep me safe. I’ve got it from here.”

✔️ Offer a reframe: “I’m allowed to go slow. I’m learning. I’m still worthy.”

You are not the voice of your past. You are the wisdom of your present. Nurture yourself through the process because you’re doing a beautiful job already...

2. Practice Gratitude for What You Did Do

I’ve started a new gratitude prompt each morning that’s helping me shift from pressure to presence:

✔️ “What did I do yesterday to support my Bli$$ful Vida?”

It might be a money move. A boundary. Rest. Anything that honored your nervous system and your values.

Because when we are grateful for what we did do, it teaches our mind to see progress as a form of self-care, not proof of our worth. And that shift is everything.

3. Set Gentle, Grounded Goals to Build Self-Trust

Let go of perfection. Focus on small, doable goals that create momentum and confidence.

Financially, that could look like:

✔️ Automating $25/week into savings

✔️ Focusing on paying off one credit card at a time

✔️ Reviewing your spending twice a month (Dates with Dinero is the perfect space for this!)

✔️ Reading one chapter of a financial book you feel safe and inspired by

These steps are sacred. They’re how you build a relationship with your money — and yourself — that’s rooted in care, not criticism.

🦋 True Progress Begins with Self-Compassion

This week, instead of focusing on what I didn’t do, I’m choosing to celebrate what I did:

✨ I moved my body twice — and honored my capacity

✨ I showed up for therapy and attended an inner child healing event

✨ I pitched three new leads for my “Rewrite Your Money Story” workshop

✨ I tracked my spending, paid my bills, and sent out an overdue invoice I’d been avoiding

These aren’t just tasks, they’re acts of self-trust. They’re how I’m showing up for the woman I’m becoming.

Because befriending your inner critic isn’t about letting yourself off the hook.

It’s about moving forward - even if super slow - with less shame and more cariño. That’s how we grow!

Reflect with Compassion 💭

Journal Prompt: What is one thing you have done with your finances lately that deserves your gratitude today?

I’d love to hear your reflections. Share them with me via email at [email protected] – I read every single email myself and am here to celebrate your wins with you.

Move Forward with Clarity 💸

If you’re ready for deeper support in your journey toward financial peace of mind — aka BLI$$ — I’d love to walk alongside you.

Join my newsletter here for guidance that's grounded, mindful, and judgment-free.

You are not alone.

You are not behind.

You are on your way to a financial life that feels truly blissful.

And I’m so honored to walk this journey with you. 🫶🏽

With love and gratitude,

Erika Dox-Martinez - Trauma of Money Certified Financial Wellness Coach - CEO & Founder of Blissful Vida